Morpheus

Things and Stuff

Spectacular mediocrity

NAMB #1,506: The hunt, Part 2
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Reverso-World. The Cosmic Library, home to all the knowledge of the multiverse that Ben saw fit to print. (The rest is on the internet.)

Chan kneels before Ben, observing him. Ben appears to be meditating, legs crossed, but he is also floating. Chan waves his hand in front of Ben’s face. No reaction. He squeezes Ben’s nose.

Ben: Gah!

Concentration broken, Ben falls to the ground.

Chan: Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I only did that because I thought it would be funny.

Chan helps him up.

Ben: What are you doing here?

Chan: I came via the Cosmic Fridge Network. What were you doing exactly?

Ben brushes himself off.

Ben: As you know (but may need reminding), this body now contains two souls—one is the Ben you have known, and the other is the Ben from this world, where I have established my headquarters.

Chan: Right. The evil-reverso-nega one.

Ben: Even now, the two souls are battling for supremacy, much like yours and mine did during our misguided trip to the future.*

Chan: Yeah, that was a load of laughs.

---

*See MB(C)EA.

---

Ben: It’s a delicate balancing act. One that requires strict concentration.

Chan: Concentration that I have now broken.

Ben: Meh. So, what brings you to the most evilest universe in all the cosmos?

Chan: You were supposed to meet us for dinner. It’s Friday.

Ben: Oh, I see the problem. This world doesn’t have Fridays.

Chan: This world is evil!

Ben: Chan, I appreciate the offer, but I swore that I would not return to that world until I could be sure that I wouldn’t turn evil. I’m sorry, but I’m just not ready to come home. Excuse me.

Ben begins browsing the bookshelves.

Chan: I get that you’re trying to be all noble or whatever, but eventually all this isolation is going to take its toll. You need to hang out with your friends every once in a while and not worry about this crap.

Ben finds a gap in the bookshelf where a volume used to be.

Ben: Another one…

Chan: Another what?

Ben: Hm? Oh, sorry. I was a million light-years away. Listen, there’s something I need to do. We’ll have to reschedule. Don’t forget to close the Cosmic Fridge on the way out.

Ben strides out of the library.

LATER

The detention center. Ben walks past NegaWayne’s cell.

NegaWayne: What? No therapy today? I thought I was making progress!

Ben doesn’t stop walking.

Ben: Yeah, but in the wrong direction.

He approaches NegaStone, who dutifully stands guard. Ben nods at him, and he stands aside. Ben enters a passcode, and the door slides open. He enters NegaSis’s cell. There is another set of bars between them. She is lying down.

NegaSis: To what do I owe this visit?

Ben: You know.

NegaSis: Really? It’s not my fault that you can’t keep track of your precious books.

Ben clutches the bars.

Ben: I don’t know how you’re doing it, but I will put a stop to it.

NegaSis: And how are you going to do that, tough guy? Torture me? Kill me? Personally, I don’t think you have it in you. And even if you did, you’d be too chickenshit to let it out.

Ben: You really want to find out?

NegaSis: Ohh, look at you. So angry. Is this world starting to get to you? A bit of advice—save yourself the trouble and don’t fight it. The house always wins.

Ben storms off.

NegaSis: You may be God in every other universe, but this one will never be yours!

He exits the cell and enters the main cell block. He sees Chan standing there. Scowling, he approaches Chan.

Chan: Hey, what—?

Ben: You need to leave.

Ben grabs his arm and begins forcefully escorting him out.

Chan: Hey, let go!

Chan pulls himself free and confronts Ben.

Chan: Ben, why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?

Ben: Don’t concern yourself.

Chan: Well, you’re my friend, so forgive me if I seem a little concerned.

Ben: Don’t you get it? This world is poison. It eats away at your soul until there’s nothing left but… but that!

He indicates NegaWayne, who is beside them in his cell.

NegaWayne: (to Chan) Hey, didn’t I kill you?

Chan: A piece of me.

Ben: (to Chan) Don’t talk to him.

Chan: Ben, I’m trying to understand.

Ben: And I’m trying to spare you from all of this. This world spawned NegaMike, a megalomaniac who nearly destroyed the multiverse more than once. This world is sick and I aim to cure it. But until then, it’s just not safe.

Ben points.

Ben: Please. Leave.

Suddenly they are back in the Cosmic Library.

Chan: Ben, you shouldn’t be doing this alone. This place is changing you.

Ben: All the more reason for you to go, before it does the same to you. Now, will you leave of your own free will, or will I have to force you out?

Chan: I don’t think being God suits you.

Ben: You think you could do better?

Chan: I see all that meditating is doing you a world of good. See you later, you fucking god.

Chan exits via the Cosmic Fridge. The door closes behind him.

Ben stands there, deep in thought. At last, he waves his hand. Chains materialize and surround the Cosmic Fridge, along with a padlock. He locks it with a key. The key vanishes.

Alarms start to go off.

Ben: What now?

Bookshelves slide aside, to reveal a giant monitor.

Ben: What’s the problem?

Computer: We have a code 616.

Ben: Visitors? But I just locked the thing!

Computer: They must have arrived by some other means.

Ben: They? They who?

ELSEWHERE

Mike and Jean are driving down the road.

Jean: There’s another city coming up.

Mike: Yeah? I hope they’re as nice as the last three we visited. They treated us like kings! Er, or queens. That is, they treated me like a king and you like a queen.

Jean: You sure it wasn’t the other way around?

Mike: Well, the customs of this world are still unfamiliar to me. But I like what I’ve se—

There is an explosion from underneath. The vehicle goes flying.

A short time later, Jean wakes up near the wreck. She finds Mike unconscious and trapped underneath the car door.

Jean: No…

She begins lifting the door.

Diana: That’s enough. Don’t move.

Jean: Who are you?

Diana: I wouldn’t expect someone like you to remember your victims. But still, that kind of hurt.

Jean: If he’s dead—

Diana: You’ll what? You’ll shed crocodile tears? You can’t fool me, Nemesis. I know exactly what you are.

Jean: Nemesis? I don’t—

Diana: Enough.

She aims her crossbow.

Diana: This is for the multiverse.

She fires.
Tags:

NAMB #1,505: The hunt, Part 1
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Reverso-World, home of the evil doppelgangers. NegaMike and Nemesis do not remember their villainous pasts. For all they know, they are just Mike and Jean.

Twilight. Mike and Jean are leaving a city, driving a flying car.

Jean: I can’t believe they just gave this to you. Who died and made you king?

Mike: I know, right? This world is starting to look pretty good!

Jean: Maybe it’s like Star Trek, where people have grown beyond the need for currency.

Mike: That can’t be right. I saw a whole bunch “For Sale” signs back there.

Jean: Maybe “For Sale” means something else on this world.

Mike: I guess that’s possible. So, where do you want to go next?

Jean: I think we should keep looking around, see the world.

Mike: Cool. I never did travel much.

They continue driving down the road.

Some miles away, standing atop a rocky ledge, is a woman staring through an advanced pair of binoculars.

Woman: It’s her. Definitely her. She and her hellish minions destroyed my world—my universe—and countless others. And now… I’ve finally found her. And she’s helpless as a normal human.

She lowers the binoculars.

Diana: Nemesis.*

---

*Diana (or an alternative version of her) was last seen in MB(C)EA.
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NAMB #1,504: Premise
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE THINGS ARE A LOT MORE LIKE ANIME...

Mike is dressed like a gothic Japanese superhero. Jean is likewise dressed as a gothic Japanese superhero.

Jean: Did you understand all that?

Mike: Let’s see…

Mike ticks off each point on a finger.

Mike: There is a virtual world where I can experience hours in the span of a mere heartbeat.

Jean: Right.

Mike: In this virtual world, my avatar is some weird Japanese robot thing.

Jean: Right.

Mike: In order to continue using this “accelerated” perspective, I must earn points.

Jean: Right.

Mike: In order to earn points, I must win tournament-style duels.

Jean: Right.

Mike: And if I lose these fights, I lose points.

Jean: Right.

Mike: And if my points reach zero, I will permanently be sealed off from this “accelerated” virtual reality.

Jean: Right.

Mike: Just one question… Why?

Jean: Why what?

Mike: Why all of it? Why the fighting? Why the points? For that matter, why all this virtual nonsense? Why is this a thing and why should I give a crap?

Jean: I… um… look, it’s a Japanese thing, okay?
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NAMB #1,503: Behind
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Mike is hanging out with Chan.

Mike: He’s rude, he’s messy, he’s loud, he never contributes, and… he’s right behind me, isn’t he?

Mike looks over his shoulder. No one is there.

Mike: Hunh.

Chan: Anyway, you were saying?

Mike: Huh? Oh, it wasn’t important.

Brad: Hey, girrrrlz!

Mike: Oh, hi! We were just saying awful things about you!

Brad: You were? But why?

Chan: Mike was testing the time-honored cliché of having the subject of the conversation—namely you—suddenly turning up—

Brad: Oh, the “right behind me” thing?

Chan: Yes. I am now a husband and a father, so this is what I do for excitement.

Brad: I wanna try!

Mike: Okay, I’ll leave for a bit. When I do, start saying awful things. And I mean awful. Okay?

Brad: Sure!

Mike leaves.

Brad: So, wanna play drums?

Chan: God, yes.

They leave.

Mike returns some time later.

Mike: I can’t believe this. You think you’ve got some dependable friends, but it turns out they’re just a bunch of selfish, inconsiderate slobs who abandon you and… they’re right behind me, aren’t they?

Mike turns around. No one is there.

Mike: Oh, come on! I walked right into that one!
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NAMB #1,502: Birth of Nemesis
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
A LONG TIME AGO, SHORTLY AFTER EPISODE 32

The ghost of Jean wanders the streets.

Jean: I don’t understand. If I don’t exist… then what am I doing here? Why won’t anyone acknowledge me?

Voice: Poor little echo.

Jean: What? Who’s there?

Voice: We are the Between. We are the Dark Things that were discarded when the universe was created. We travel from universe to universe, hoping to gain a foothold. All we want to do… is interact.

Jean: So do I.

Voice: Perhaps we can be of some assistance to each other. If you open yourself to a fraction of our essence, you may be able to assert yourself in this universe. And in return, so would we.

Jean: Well, I guess it’s worth a shot.

Voice: Then it is agreed.

Everything goes dark.

LATER, DURING EPISODE 56

Jean: Well, it was nice meeting—

Mike politely shuts the door in her face.

Jean contemplates this, then walks away.

Jean: It didn’t work.

Voice: It did work. They acknowledged you.

Jean: Mike slammed the door in my face! He’s supposed to be the nice one! I can’t believe this!

Voice: Nevertheless they did acknowledge you. We are on the right track. With your permission, we would share more of our essence with you. We think you will see improved results.

Jean: Okay, whatever.

LATER, DURING EPISODE 125

Jean: Hi, my name is Jean. What’s your name?

Mike: Out of my way, cute girl that I’ve never seen before! I’m off to make some friends!

Jean watches him walk off.

She roars in frustration.

Jean: Dammit, this isn’t working!

Voice: We were sure that we shared enough essence with you.

Jean: He said he’s never even met me before! It’s like we’re headed in the wrong direction!

Voice: Then there is only one recourse. You must offer yourself to us completely.

Jean: What? Offer myself? I thought you were offering yourself to me.

Voice: Yes… of course. Now, do you agree?

Jean: Might as well. Can’t go on like this, can we?

Voice: No… we can’t.

LATER, SHORTLY BEFORE EPISODE 176

Two punks walk down an alley. They find Jean there, in rags.

Punk: Well… hello, there. What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a piss factory like this?

Other punk: You don’t belong here. You belong somewhere nice and warm—namely, my pants.

They laugh.

Jean growls.

Punk: What? You have something to say?

Jean: Someone… finally… acknowledges me… And it has to be you jerks?

She is on her feet with inhuman speed.

Punk: Whoa!

The punk pulls out a knife. Jean grabs his wrist and twists it until it snaps. The knife (and then the punk) falls to the ground.

She turns her attention to the other punk.

Jean: Leave.

The other punk pulls out a gun.

Jean: Fool.

The punk shoots her three times. She looks down at herself but cannot find any evidence of a wound.

Jean: And blind as well.

The other punk drops the gun and runs away screaming. The first punk follows, clutching his wrist.

Jean picks up the gun and examines it.

Jean: This world… I hate this world. It is foul. Rotten. We should do something about that.

She pockets the gun, and sits there in the dark.
Tags:

NAMB #1,501: Homecoming
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
MEANWHILE, IN EPISODE 1,211

The beer falls from Ben’s grip. He and Nemesis struggle to reach it. The universes inhabiting Limbo swirl in turmoil. New universes begin to appear.

Nemesis: It works! I am becoming God!

Ben: Seems to me that you haven’t been crowned just yet.

Ben grabs the beer and hits her on the head with it.

Ben: That’s more like it. And now that you’re distracted…

A cage appears around Nemesis.

Ben: Yeah. Okay. We’re done.

Ben stands.

Ben: Okay… Excuse me for a mo… Gotta regrow my arm… before the painkillers in this futuristic armor wear off…

Nemesis watches him.

Nemesis: He does not know me. It is as if he is another person. No… he is the same person… but a different version. One who knows nothing of my origin.

Evil Mike: I hate that guy.

Nemesis: !

She turns and sees Evil Mike’s ghost floating next to her.

Nemesis: You… You are the one I marked as my prey… yet you are not. Another version.

Evil Mike: The best version. The one who made all the right decisions. Me and my evil compatriots… We were wreaking havoc in their universe, causing all manner of mischief, when somehow they got the upper hand and sent us on our way. I don’t know what happened to the others, but I’ve floating around lost ever since. And then, out of nowhere, this guy… or at least some version of him… comes and stabs me! And now I’m dead. And I have to say, being dead sucks. Even more so in Limbo.

Nemesis: Listen to me, little ghost. I think we can be of some use to each other. Some time ago, I managed to steal a fraction of his predecessor’s power. I can use that power to grant you the opportunity to claim a new body for yourself.

Evil Mike: Interesting. And what must I do in return?

Nemesis: Surely my adversary here means to destroy me. Or worse, imprison me. Either way, I only ask that you take vengeance upon him in my place.

Evil Mike: Must that be the end of our collaboration? Imagine all the damage we could do together.

Nemesis leans closer to Evil Mike, her shapeless, shadowy body beginning to assume Jean’s form.

Nemesis: Perhaps, if I survive this. I sense much potential for destruction in you.

Evil Mike: Potential? I held an entire universe in the palm of my hand!

Nemesis: Only one universe?

Evil Mike: I promise you, if this works out, if I am reborn, no force in all the universes will be able to stand in our way.

NOW

A portal opens. Mike and Jean step out (fresh from the events of "Ever After").

Jean: Where are we?

Mike looks around.

Jean: Our universe was dying… supposedly because of the “darkness” in our souls. Someone showed us the way out… through the oven, of all places. Who do you think that was?

Mike: I don’t know.

Jean: Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. We’ve made it to another world, so now we can try to live out our lives here.

Mike: Until our presence causes this universe to self-destruct.

Jean: Oh, right. What do you suppose he meant by the “darkness” within us? I don’t feel dark.

Mike: Apparently, we weren’t always who we are.

Jean: Are you saying he’s tampered with our memories?

Mike: I think it goes beyond that. I think he completely wiped them out.

Jean: What makes you say that?

Mike: I dunno… Something about this world.

He notices something in the field. He approaches it. It is the remains of a large stone structure. Jean remains where she is, deep in thought.

Jean: Do you think we’re in danger here? Think he’ll come after us again?

Mike: Maybe. But at least we have an ally. Our mysterious benefactor, whoever she is.

Jean: What makes you think it’s a “she”?

Mike: I don’t know. Just a feeling.

Jean: Are your memories returning?

Mike grabbed her shoulders.

Mike: Listen to me. We are not whoever Ben thinks we are. We were born in that universe, and we should have died there having lived out our natural lives. This whole thing about “darkness”… it’s just bullshit.

Jean: But what if it’s not?

Mike: Stop it.

Jean: I’m serious. What if there’s something really evil inside of us?

Mike: Evil doesn’t exist. It’s just a choice that people make. And I, for one, have no intention of choosing to be evil. And I refuse to believe that there was ever a time when I was. If anything’s evil, it’s the universe that decided that our presence was somehow poisonous. So please, stop questioning yourself. You’re not evil. You’re the best person I know.

They kiss.

Jean: Technically, right now, I’m the only person you know.

Mike: It would still be true otherwise.

They hold each other for a while.

Jean: Okay. Enough questions. Let’s see if this universe will be more hospitable than the last one.

Mike: Lead the way.

They walk off.

They walk past the toppled stone structure without paying it any more heed. It is a broken statue of NegaMike.

Mike: You know something? This place is already starting to feel like home.
Tags:

NAMB #1,500: New chapter
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Mike: So I’m going to take the new job.

Brad: Sweet! You’ve been complaining about your job for as long as I’ve known you, so it’s about time.

Mike: Yeah. The commute’s actually going to be worse, but I think it will be a better environment for me.

Brad: Good.

Mike: It’s been a busy year for me. New job. Refinancing.

Brad: Yeah. You’ve got every aspect of your life in order. Except for romance.

Mike: Ah, I knew there was a reason why I wasn’t letting myself get too excited.
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NAMB #1,499: Voice, Part 2
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Mike comes home from work, sees his neighbor walking his dog.

Neighbor: Hey there.

Mike: Hey.

Neighbor: I don’t want to pry, but are you and your roommate… “throwing dragons”?

LATER

Mike throws away the voice equipment.
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NAMB #1,498: Voice, Part 1
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Brad: Mike, the new mod for Dragonbox has been released! Now we can use voice commands! Give it a try!

Mike: Okay… What should I say?

Brad: Just use one of the basic attacks, like Dragon Throw. He’ll throw that boulder at an enemy.

Mike steps up to the screen.

Mike: Um… Dragon Throw.

Mike’s avatar on the screen attempts throw the boulder, but it doesn’t budge. The avatar shrugs at Mike.

Mike: What just happened?

Brad: Try speaking from your diaphragm. Here—DRAGON THROW!

The avatar lifts up the boulder with one hand and flattens a troll with it.

Mike: Showoff.
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NAMB #1,497: Away
Morpheus
[info]skaly2
Mike: I’ll be going on vacation later this month. I don’t want you to throw any parties while I’m away.

Brad: Got it. Throw the biggest party ever while you’re away.

Silence.

Mike: I’m 99.9% sure that you’re screwing with me, but just in case you’re not, I will say it again…
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